titleless I

you asked if I liked to be alone
I said I like to be deep underwater

Shell Silverstein wrote about you

warned me that giving isn't easy

when the giving goes to men like you

I stole a favorite shirt of yours hoping you'd ask for it back

I stood alone in the music hall while you took photos from above

what was I supposed to say

when the photos came back and I wasn't in them

when you said you needed, needed, needed her

I've been dragged on shore, wrung out, and placed in the sun

sucked clean of the memories

pressed and laid down

how beautiful do I look now that you've killed me

you wrapped the scarf she made around my neck

knotting it tightly, you said it might get cold

as I opened the door, you pulled it tighter

I tried to speak but nothing came out

sometimes I dream that I'd worn a different dress

a black one, or maybe a bruised dark blue

then I would not have filled the room

twirling in red

but I wore red, and you wore blue

"I've been hurt before," the jacket said

I wish I'd worn a different dress

so that later, when I was bleeding out on your floor

you would not have be able to say "I never noticed"

you asked if I liked being alone

I said I didn't know the difference